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Remembering Remo

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

My dad & his mom

I came across this quote and immediately thought of my dad, Remo Zappavigna. This September 3rd marks the second anniversary of my father's death. Sometimes, it seems as though it has been forever since Dad left this earth; at other times, it seems like yesterday.


Over the past couple of days, I have reminisced about that last year with my dad, and his last weeks, in particular. I vividly recall having a lovely lunch with both of my parents two days before I got the come-to-the-hospital-now phone call. I remember how Dad flirted with the waitress, with his wacky teasing style. I recall how he was in the "clean plate club" that afternoon. I am grateful for the happy memories I have of that day and I think now how glad I am that I did not know that would be his last lunch out.

Dad, driving pontoon boat

This last week, I have reflected on how lucky I am that my father was gifted with that last year he had on this earth. It gave us - as well as other family and friends - the chance to "circle the wagons" and surround both of my parents with so much love. When I recall the many visitors, I am still amazed by how many lives my dad touched. 


As I think about my father today, the bit of sadness and loss I feel also comes with a sense of quiet calm knowing that he lives on not only in me, but also in my children. I recall him saying the same thing about losing his mom; he once told me that he saw her in his children. Funny how that works. 

Dad, in his recliner

So, on this second anniversary, I will allow myself to feel my loss, to own it. But I will also remember all the good (and even not-so-good) things that made my dad one of my favorite people. 

I like to remember him like he is in the picture to the left: Sitting in his comfy chair, pipe and tobacco nearby, a quick smile and silly giggle, telling me to have a seat and relax.  I get the feeling he is sharing a few jokes with the other angels in heaven, smiling down on us all, and hoping that we are not taking life too seriously.

It's That Time of Year

The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.
~Robert Maynard Hutchins

Yes, it's that time of year. No, not Christmas, but the beginning of the school year. Like the quote above states: the object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.
For most of my son's lives, their education was acquired in the non-traditional form of homeschooling; living life and learning have always gone hand-in-hand.

For the first time in nearly 12 years, the start of the school year does not include homeschooling any of my sons. My youngest son is now a full time college student, heading off to someone else's classroom five days a week. This is a wonderful feeling and, for me, it does seem sort of like Christmas.


My boys are not strangers to the local college. The oldest began taking courses there part-time when he was 14 years old; the other two got dragged along for the ride, often working on their own school work in the gathering areas at the college. Since they all began taking college courses while in high school, all of my sons graduated from high school a year earlier than their same age peers.


It has been satisfying to see the boys navigate their way through a large college campus, often being the youngest in their classes. Many are surprised to find that they were educated at home for most of their grammar school and all of their high school years. The years of learning and working with a wide variety of people, from the very young to the elderly, shows in how confident they are in the world.



Sending the youngest off to take college courses full time really is a gift. Like my older sons, he has proven time again that he can think for himself and make good decisions. It truly is a "present" knowing that the education my sons received during their homeschooling years has created a strong foundation for their future.


Onward and upward!

~Karen

It's All in the Family

Today, I had the pleasure of attending a family reunion. This was for my dad's side of the family, the Zappavigna's. Dad was from a family of six children.

As with many families, my paternal side had experienced some unfortunate separations over the years. Earlier this year, my Uncle Mario died. At his services, his children, along with many of my cousins, my siblings and I, lamented over how many years had been wasted due to misunderstandings about things no one even recalled. Thus, the reunion was born.

Most of my own siblings were there, along with our cousins, spouses and many of our children. Notably missing were my dad, his two brothers and one sister (a third sister had died years ago at a young age). This was the first big family gathering since my own dad died nearly two years ago. I will admit there were many moments when I truly missed him today in ways that I had not for a while.

My Aunt Vi is the lone remaining sibling; she and my Uncle John both attended today's party, along with my mom and my Aunt Lil (Aunt Lil was married to my dad's brother, Enzo). These four are now the "older" generation of our family. I felt blessed to have them all together today!

Somehow, my sisters and I have turned into our mom by encouraging everyone to pose and smile for pictures! My cousin, Kathy, first gathered all of our children together for a group picture. The funny comments were sure flying! One that stuck out in my head was when my brother yelled, "Turn and introduce yourself to the cousin you didn't know you had!" Silly, and yet, true! It was a pleasure to watch the children of my cousins get to know one another a little bit at a pleasant event.

Once the children were tortured with the flash of camera's, it was time for my generation to pose. We passed our camera's on to the kids and asked them to snap away. I think they did a fair job of capturing all of us. I am still not sure when it is that we all got a little grayer, a little rounder, and for some of us, a bit thinner up on top! It didn't seem to matter as we shared stories only family can tell: Remember the Christmas parties at Grandma's four-room house? Remember that little train set she had? Oh, that magnolia tree on the side of the house...that was beautiful! Wow, can you make Grandma's Easter bread? And so it went...

The posed photos ended with a round of pictures of all of the spouses of the cousins. They were good sports about taking the shots, even though Mother Nature had decided to sprinkle a few more rain drops on us!

All in all, it was an enjoyable day. Good company, good food, good times! May God allow my family to continue to celebrate many more reunions and happy times.

Another Obama Email

This must be my lucky week! A few days ago, I received an email from Michelle Obama; yesterday, I received an email from Barack Obama. (See image of email below my signature.) I would guess that I have somehow ended up on an email list for the Democratic National Committee.

Barack begins the email with a warm, "When you and I set out on this journey three years ago, we knew that ours would be a lengthy struggle to build a new foundation for this country --one that would require squaring off against the special interests who had spent decades stacking the deck in their favor. Today, it is clear that you have shifted the odds." He then goes on to discuss signing the Finance Reform Bill and how it "represents the most sweeping reforms of Wall Street since the Great Depression, and the toughest consumer financial protections this nation has ever seen."


Barack continues to discuss how the Recovery Act has "turned 22 months of job losses into six consecutive months of private-sector job growth. And it is a foundation reinforced by the historic health reform we passed this spring, which is already giving new benefits to more than 100 million Americans, ushering another 1 million Americans into coverage by next year."

He writes about Organizing for America, discussing how he will, along with this group, "move forward in the months ahead on the tough fights we have yet to finish." He also claims that this "movement has never catered to the conventional wisdom of Washington. And we have fought to ensure that our progress is never held hostage by our politics."

This latest email was a bit different from the first - it blatantly seeks donations to "help Organizing for America lay the groundwork for the fights ahead."There is even a link inserted to the page https://donate.barackobama.com/WallStreetReformed not once, but twice within the email. (See image to the left.) Note, Organizing for America is a "project" of the DNC - according to the disclaimer at the bottom of the email.


Of course, he closes the email with another reminder of how he needs me to "Please donate $5 or more today."

I found the entire email interesting and thought provoking.

First of all, I am not a supporter of the Obama administration, neither financially, nor fundamentally. I do not support the health reform that was passed, nor do I buy into the supposed "job creation" that Barack seems to think is happening or that this finance reform will be good for the "average Joe."

What I do see is that many people remain unemployed or underemployed. I see many family and friends who have had their places of employment shut down by the government (auto dealers), move to other countries (for the cheap labor) or raise health insurance premiums to ridiculously high costs. I see big banks swallowing up other banking institutions, sticking it to their customers with high fees and poor customer service. I see college graduates being deemed "over qualified" to work retail jobs, even though there are not jobs available in their field of study.

Just as the Affordable Care Act was pushed through, so it goes with this Finance Reform Bill. Just as the Affordable Care Act will cost every taxpayer hundreds of thousands of dollars, I believe this Finance Reform Bill will end up costing every taxpayer more money. Banking institutions, especially the larger ones such as Chase, Bank of America, Fifth Third, etc, will find creative ways to siphon money from their customers to get around the stipulations in the latest bill.

Just as I do not need, or want, the government controlling my health care, I do not need the government to protect me from "predatory lending," to help me read the "fine print" of contracts or to determine where to do my financial business. I also have no sympathy for people who did sign for mortgages on big homes they really could not afford or for those who have spent more than they could afford. 

Barack and Michelle Obama can continue to send out as many emails as they want. This American Citizen, this voter, will not buy into their rhetoric anymore than she bought into that of previous administrations, no matter party affiliation. The "conventional wisdom of Washington," to which Barack referred, is not conventional or wise - it is bought by politicians and paid for on the backs of taxpayers.  I do hope others who receive the email are smart enough to realize this is yet another ploy to dupe folks into thinking everything the administration is doing is for their benefit, when in fact the opposite is true.

What is your opinion? Thoughts? Do share!

~Karen

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Email from Barack Obama:

An Email from Michelle Obama

Today, I received an email from Michelle Obama. It was addressed to me by name, too. The subject of the email was "Prevention," and it extolled all the virtues of the "Affordable Care Act" that was passed earlier this year. (I have posted the email in its entirety below my post.)


The first line of Michelle's email  states: "When you hear about the new health reform law these days, too much talk is focused on the political."

That was an interesting opening line since the disclaimer at the end of the email reads: "Paid for by Organizing for America, a special project of the Democratic National Committee -- 430 South Capitaol Street SE, Washington D.C. 20003. This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee."

Rather amusing that Michelle thinks the talk about health care reform is too political and yet it is being sent out by a "special project" of the DNC. 


In the second sentence, Michelle writes: "What I've found is that most Americans just want to know how this new law helps their families stay healthy -- and how it reduces their costs."

My reply to that is: Good luck trying to determine what all of the changes will really involve. One of the first things I noticed is that this new law will increase my healthcare costs effective 2011 because it cuts in half the amount my family may put into our Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA) and it also eliminates the items I may purchase with this account by requiring a doctor's prescription for things such as over-the-counter medications. If I want to continue to use my FSA account to buy cough syrup or pain killers, for example, I will now have to make, and pay for, an appointment with my doctor so she can write a script for the medications. Neither of these changes saves me money, Michelle.

Michelle goes on to tell me how "for moms like me, it makes our lives easier." This will, according to her, give families control over their own care (funny, I do have that now!) along with the "comfort of knowing that our insurance will be there when we need it most --especially if we get sick." She continues to let me know that there "is a lot to know" and that our esteemed government has set up yet another website, at HealthCare.gov, where "folks can see customized information about how care will improve for their families." Feel free to click on over to the site if you care to do so. I did but really could not find any definitive information which will clearly outline how this new law will change my current health care and associated costs.

Continuing with the letter: Did you know that under the new law, private health care plans will have to provide basic preventive services "absolutely free of charge" to their members ? That's right, according to Michelle, there will be "No copay. No deductible. No co-insurance needed." To Michelle I say what I say to my children: Nothing is ever free. There are always costs associated with health care, whether it is coming directly out of my wallet or it is a benefit of employment. The "free" preventive health care will not be free; it will be paid for by the user in the form of premiums or, to the taxpayers who are helping to fund health care for others, in the form of more taxes.

I do agree with Michelle's opinion that preventive health care is important. It is something I have maintained for our family, either paying for it with our insurance coverage or out of pocket. I also agree with Michelle when she writes that "each of us needs to take responsibility for our own health and the health of our families." I disagree with her about this new health reform law helping to do that. Beginning in January 2011, it will be cost me more of my hard earned money.

Michelle Obama may be a mom, but I am not a mom like her. This health care reform package will not grossly change the health care received by Michelle and her family, nor most of the Democrats who voted for it. Clearly the Obama's do not have to worry about the decrease in FSA limits making a dent in their pocketbooks. It is also obvious that no one really knows everything that this "Affordable Care Act" will change.

Yes, people should not have their insurance cut off. Folks should not be denied coverage for preexisting conditions. Sure people should go to the doctor for preventive care. Yes, health care should be affordable.  I do not, however, believe that this "Affordable Care Act" will make health care affordable. Not one little bit.

Have an opinion? Share it!

~Karen

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Below is the email I received from Michelle Obama:

Chase Bank and Creative Finances

Back in the day, as my sons like to say, my husband and I refinanced our mortgage with Washington Mutual Bank (WAMU). We liked them so much that we moved our other personal banking accounts to them, too.

Fast forward a few years and Chase Bank has taken over control of WAMU. It wasn't immediate, but rather gradually that we noticed some changes being made to our bank, namely, Customer Service. Where we once had excellent customer service, we now noticed a lack thereof, along with an attitude of DGAS (short for "Don't Give a Sh!t").

Given that my own line of work is based on a combination of customer service and creativity, it annoyed me to no end that my bank really didn't care about me as a consumer. So, off I went to shop for a new financial institution. Since WAMU failed due to some poor business practices, including lending to those who were not qualified and often not citizens of the United States (nor legal residents), my husband and I decided we wanted to do business with a local bank with a good track record of customer service and quality business practices.

We happily began the process of moving our monies to the new local bank. Like many families, we have most of our bills automatically paid from our checking account. By the end of May, the only remaining bill I needed to change over to the new checking account was our mortgage. Ironically - or perhaps not really ironically - this was the ONLY bill that we have had trouble moving to the new institution.

On Friday, May 28, 2010, I logged onto my Chase account and clicked the link to update my payment for my mortgage. I was given two options:

1. Start the payments from new account beginning with the July 1, 2010 payment
or
2. Start the payments from the new account beginning with the August 1, 2010 payment.

NOTE: Those were the ONLY two options given. I clicked to choose the July 1, 2010 selection. I was immediately given a confirmation of this option. Later, I was also emailed a confirmation which stated that my payments from the new checking account would begin on July 1, 2010.

Since it was May 28, 2010, I knew I needed to be sure there was enough money in my Chase Checking Account to cover the June 1, 2010 mortgage payment. I deposited the appropriate monies.

Moving on to June 1, 2010, I noticed that there is still far too much money in my Chase Checking Account. I decide to log on to my new bank's website. Lo and Behold! Chase has not only deducted my JUNE mortgage payment from the wrong account, but now I have also incurred nearly $100 in overdraft fees since the payment put my new account into a negative balance of about $20.00.

On June 2, I immediately contact Chase Bank to report the error. I am told I must submit my bank statement which shows "the name on the account, name of the bank, the date of the transaction in question, a running balance before and after the transaction in question and bank statement showing the actual transaction." I was given a postal address and a fax number to submit the information.

As of today, July 12, 2010, I have submitted the information no less than six times. I have made ten separate phone calls to customer service, where I have to hear how "sorry" they are that I am "frustrated" with this error. I have been told several stories about why I have not received this refund. They range from "Oh, it went to the wrong department" to "The work order was misunderstood."

Everyone at Chase Bank apologizes for the inconvenience, but no one is showing me the money. MY money. Money that I had to pay due to their order. As I told Gustavo today (the last in a string of unhelpful Chase representatives), if my mortgage payment is ever late I am hit was a late charge. Funny, isn't it, how the reverse isn't true.

Gustavo tells me I will get a check from Chase in 5 business days. I won't hold my breath. In the meantime, however, I will share this experience with everyone.

Have you had a bad experience with Chase Bank? Do share!

~Karen